Friday, January 23

Long Blogless Month Fulfilled

One luminary clock against the sky
Proclaimed the time was neither wrong nor right.
I have been one acquainted with the night.
That for which I am currently most proud is a fledgling healthy sleep schedule I've begun to cultivate. I've waged a battle against myself mind, body, and soul to wake myself up early this past week, ignoring my Sleepy Carl who tells me time and time again that life is simply better in bed. I decided last semester that I'd start waking up early mornings primarily to biopsychological benefits of sunlight. Depressive symptoms may be alleviated by sunlight apparently and though I don't know why this is, I'm all for the idea of being happier just by being awake at a certain time. Denying myself such happiness to stay up in order to watch television shows I don't even particularly like or to waste time on the computer simply seems ludicrous.

There is a downside for me here still though. Tragically, I must forsake the late night in order to embrace dawn. I've always loved the night, but it just doesn't feel the same here. For one, I have a roommate who is nearly always awake as well, and even if he's not there's the sound of steady breathing, rising and falling at all times. I like often to be alone and this is a near impossibility in my single room dorm without (legal) roof access, with a great deal of trouble having to be taken to prepare to travel outdoors. I can't wander about the hallways or linger in any other rooms alone as I could in my (completely oversized) house in Houston. From my window I only overlook a street and a fraternity, and the grand ole city of blaring lights. The issue really though is that with the combination of the craziness of Austin and the thousands of college students, night lacks here the peace that it held in Houston. The night is of course still interesting of course and I still take random just-asking-to-get-robbed strolls through the city and surrounding parks at absurd hours, but for quite different reasons. Back home, I would go out late night walking or yogging if I needed to relieve stress, reflect, or just observe the beauty of the night, or however much of it existed in muggy Houston. Here these reasons still exist, but unless out in the parks, there are the masses of Austin's night life stumblers, concert-goers, and generally weird people to observe. There is such a strange collection of people in this city and observation breeds contemplation. I take great pleasure in these Austin walks, but I doubt they'll ever replace the joy found in the Houston ones.

I so far have greatly enjoyed punishing myself by waking up from between 7 and 8 when the city remains asleep. I plan to go to breakfast at our cafeteria every morning this semester (both to have a specific purpose to get up and to start spending the $1200 or so I have to exhaust in the next few months) and as I attempt to settle my internal clock on waking closer to 7 or slightly earlier, I hope to take some morning strolls. The allure of nightstrolling still exists here in the mornings, when the city is asleep and hung over. Of course, there are still the devoted dogwalkers and 8 o'clock classers that wander about, but for the most part, the city remains tranquil and in general much more tolerable in my opinion. A certain amount of pride in for the first time taking control of my sleeping habits exists as well. I feel almost responsible for once. Ahh the beginnings of maturity...I must be doing a poor job of being a college student.

More than anything, I feel the new normal-hours-keeping Kyle kind of represents in my mind starting fresh again. Last semester was not a favorite of mine and I hope to take more from my college experience and decipher a clearer direction for my life this year.

Goodbye late nights. I'm sure we'll still hang out now and then, but I think that we should start seeing other people. (And for anyone observant enough to notice that I'm posting this at 3:21 am...this is an exceptional day. I've already slept a lot today by accident, and I shouldn't have any problem waking up for breakfast tomorrow.)

1 comment:

Marie said...

I am proud of you for blogging... and sleeping! good job!

i hope this semester is better. although, i will not be attending next year...