Dry People Ain't No Good

Today I walked out of my dorm room. It was raining, I had no umbrella. I started running beneath the awnings (but we have none), trying to save my cheap t-shirt, backpack, and Jack Skellington watch. I'm still trying to dry and to dry but no good.
I felt like slugging some people today. I've discovered another reason to severely doubt any goodness in humanity. As I attempted to get to my desired location 15 minutes away, I found myself consistently slowed behind the oh-so-content umbrella-wielders. Many traveled in groups, leisurely strolling along and fanning out across each possible walkway. One trio even formed a total impasse, out of the apparent need to stop in order to debate the future direction of Gossip Girls (like I need another reason to hate that show). Weaving between the wildly unsympathetic strollers, I drafted a new campus law:

In times of inclement weather, a speed lane shall be establish for the benefit of the unprotected, lest we let the proletariat be once more oppressed by their bourgeoisie elites. Or maybe umbrellas should be banned so that everyone will be forced to suffer equally. Then only those dreamers left singing in the rain would provide any obstacle to those averse to the rain. Many will call me a weather Communist, but so it is and so it shall be!

Oh, and I've decided to name the Prius Regina, mainly because of its color -Spectra Blue. It seems an appropriate pun, and I've always liked the name, even before discovering ReSpekt.