I don't have change and I hate the environment

I've concluded a number of things from my daily experiences here in Austin. Obviously, everyone has a cause, no matter how nonsensical or grand. My favorite new idea I've come across is in the form of graffiti directly above the great Hi, How Are You? frog. It simply says, "No More Prisons!" Wow. I really hope that is incorporated into someone's political agenda someday.

All the other absurd requests and situations come from Austin's begging community. First I think I need to point out a distinction. There are the homeless and then there are the cheap Austinites who are just too lazy to make something of themselves. The truly homeless are those that pick a location and ask for spare change. At times they appear genuinely insane. I passed one man on the steps of an old Baptist church one day, with what looked like little firecrackers duct taped to his hat, muttering to himself. As I passed, all I heard was "I had the father, then I had his dog, then I had his chicken fajita." I'm still a little disturbed by that one. In general I just dish out my change or ignore them.

The others are just punk teenagers who walk around asking for change for a beer, and upon my denial, never failing to lament, "but it's for a beer!" One even gave me a Greenpeace-esque pitch. He broke apart from his merry band of companions, walked directly up to me, and began: "Hello. I'm with an organization called HFA - Homeless for Alcohol. Could you spare some money for my friends and I to have a drink?" After I readily gave him the negative, he walked beside me for awhile, talking about how he had been rehearsing that in front of the mirror all morning. Then he proceeded to tell me that it was all a joke and they really needed it for food, and I think I believed him, if only for the alcohol already on his breath.

I'm thinking that I'll take to the streets this weekend. I've thought up what I think is a clever enough line: "With a world so full of change, why not spare yourself some?" I'm sure the intellectuals would be hurling their nickels and dimes at me.

I also don't want to waste my attention on the people who are out there because of a class or club requirement, namely the environmentalists. I've only listened to two pitches to help Greenpeace. One was with a girl who I made way too much eye contact with too avoid. Oh how naiive I was, to be drawn in! She seemed one who has passion without knowledge. I listened, but was not at all compelled. The second time there came the greatest pitch I've ever heard and that I ever will hear. My strategy of sticking close by a group failed, and an energetic young man with Andrew Roberts-hair and a clipboard walked up to me and posed an unexpected question. "Do you like Gene Hackman?" I didn't slow down in hopes of slipping by him and answered, untruthfully, "Not particularly." With my love of movies though, I couldn't let that statement stand alone. I mean he's a talented and famous actor. When you consider it, he was a perfect choice -not too famous and beloved, and not too amateur or disliked. A Johnny Depp might evoke a "Doesn't everyone?" response, while an Ashton Kutcher will likely yield a flat-out "No." Still without slowing, I walked past him, conceding "I liked him in The Royal Tenenbaums." Just as he reached the edge of my peripheral vision, I noticed that he began to walk alongside me. "Really? I haven't seen that one. What about The French Connection?" He had me. Not only was I recalling Runaway Jury and Gene's cute little role in Young Frankenstein, I was in his grasp.

I figured I might as well enjoy it, so we talked about Mr. Hackman's career for a short while, and then he gave me all he had on the destruction of the Canadian rainforests. It was the same pitch I had received earlier in the week, but with a lot more knowledge behind it. On top of that, there was talk of giving me what I am quite sure was a literal sword and shield if I signed up to donate $20 a month. I had no intention of giving in though, and would have told him so had his pitch not been so continuously flowing. I felt bad telling him, I'd already heard the pitch, like I was destroying a fledgling friendship (and the opportunity to own my own weaponry).

All these questions remind me of my family's trip to Jamaica. If you venture outdoors, you cannot escape a swarm of inquisition: "Do you need a taxi?" or "Would you like braids?"

As much as they often irritate me or give me discomfort, some of these advertisers catch my attention and serve a useful purpose. Last week through Monday, voter registration desks were set up all around campus, as well as one student whose job pertained of yelling "Register to vote!" in the main UT courtyard, and high-fiving people if they claimed to be registered already. That seems like it'd be a fun job. Then there are of course the Bible-bringers.

If nothing else, I'm glad to see people passionate enough to take time out of their "busy" lives to spend some time in something larger than themselves, and it doesn't hurt that they add some excitement and randomness to my days.