Third Post of a Terribly Long Night

These are just observations and feelings that have been lingering on my mind for several days now –three humorous, and three serious:

I actually thoroughly enjoyed the Heroes this week. That's new. Some characters still seem almost unbearable at the moment (I don’t think I need to name names), but I’m liking the majority. I especially liked the extra-cute Hiro lines, including “Now I’m a vee-lahn, like you!” and “Hello? Mr. African Isaac (Ee-sock)?” And now that Hiro and the newest Jung-quoting black guy are together, I’m expecting fun. I’m wondering why no one refers to him by his nationality. Maybe he’s Haitian 2. I’ve again taken hold of my hope balloon for the future of Heroes.

I’m watching way too much Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. I want to be Will Smith.

I saw what I can best describe as an Amazon Colonel Warr (my old computer science teacher/renowned pole vaulter/science fiction writer) today on the street. Or maybe I could describe it better by saying the skin tone shift would be comparable to Cosmo Kramer after he fell asleep in a tanning bed, or Ross Geller after getting "an 8" on his front with spray tan. And I still don't know how I obtained all this F*R*I*E*N*D*S knowledge. I wouldn't be at all surprised if I learned I'd seen every episode.

I’m struggling with a total lack of concern with work and grades, and a powerful appetite for learning. I’m in a state of deep questioning of whether I should be here at the University of Longhorns at all, and whether I should become a teacher, a researcher, a churchman, or an astronaut. I only know that I want to learn to play the harp.

All anyone around here ever asks me for is my money, my vote, and my blood. Yesterday though, I passed a man twice, who asked the simple question, "Spare a smile?" My hope in humanity was restored, but immediately dashed when I saw how his humble request was ignored like all the others. I smiled at him, knowing full well that it he’d quickly shake a tin cup for change upon noticing my attention. He had none, and merely smiled warmly back. I was so intrigued (and bored) that I walked back down that street around an hour later and saw he had not moved. The quartet in front of me discussed and prepared an organized ignorance. The heart-wrenching irony to me though was that this group decided to use Operation: Pretend I Just Said Something Really Funny, and each of the three averted their eyes to look to the "speaker" of the "joke" and laugh, fake and hard. I glanced at the man on the ground, whose request reached only a wall of falsified laughter, and I saw a sorrow in him that still almost brings me to tears. It was so piercing, I couldn't even twist up my lips into a smile.

I lied about only knowing I want to play the harp. Judging from the movies I’m watching (feel-good romances), the music I’m listening to (gals with pretty songs and voices –Norah Jones, Joanna Newsom, Eisley, Regina Spektor), and the dreams I’m having, I want to fall in love again.